The books are at once similar and very different.

Both tell the tale of a man’s love and longing for a woman they cannot, or rather, must not have; they speak of respectability, hierarchies, and societies on the clashing cusp of change; they paint the prevalent society with all the love of miniaturist’s brush. Yet, so different they are: one man witholding, the other giving in; one man preserving perfection in his memories, the other seeking material objects to seal his memories in; one living a veneer with self-control, the other abandoning all pretences. Both do not live in the real world, but in a world of their own making. Both do not really possess the woman they adore, they are possessed instead by their own love for the woman.

Both books are very engrossing reads, though I did get a little weary of the wealth of details that Orhan Pamuk plunges into. Society everywhere has its own set of complicated rules by which games are to be played, and that is precisely what makes both these books so utterly fascinating. One recognizes the underlying passions and overt pretences that remain the same across cultures, varying only in the shades that they come in. True innocence is indeed a rare commodity.

The thing is, when I hear a very one-sided conversation, in the sense that everyone’s agreeing on something, I have this insane desire to argue and justify just the opposite. Never mind if I am in complete agreement with the views being expressed, and my personal opinion is based on exactly the same facts and observations and reactions. I just have to jump in with precisely the opposite idea, and try and justify it, even if I end up looking like a complete fool!

I am not sure why I have this propensity for such self-humiliation. I try to delude myself that I like playing the devil’s advocate, that I like “exploring” the opposite view, and so on. But that, unfortunately, doesn’t stop other people from concluding that I am a weirdo with crazy ideas.

I’m improving, though. Recently, I participated in just such a conversation, and I was so tempted to jump in with my impromptu contrarian view. Unusually, I controlled myself and held my tongue, just listening instead of letting myself go in the wrong direction.

I tided over that little crisis pretty well. Thank God there’s some hope after all!

I was a little taken aback by the question. I have no idea, Lil D, I answered. Why do you ask?

Said Lil D in all earnestness — If she is still alive, she must be so proud of Dhanush, no?!

Well, I don’t know about Dhanush’s mom, but Lil D made her mom very happy with that thought!

The Urban Shots Crossroads Anthology, which includes my story Paradise, will be launched on 21 Jan 2012 – 5 pm, at Reliance Time Out, Cunningham Road, Bangalore.

Do come.

Well, 2011 has been such an unusually good year that I’m forced to recollect it in all its cheer. For one thing, on the family front, everything went smoothly. No news was indeed good news. My parents were stable for most of the time, except for one scare which turned out to be a false alarm. My own health was surprisingly good. I didn’t have too many issues, the only major problem being some sort of random rheumatism that made movements quite painful, but for which I had painkillers on standby. My sinus didn’t act up much, and my usual severe throat infections made such rare appearances that I almost forgot I used to be plagued by them. I’m attributing my good health to the raw garlic I consume first thing in the morning. I do hope that I stay in good health through 2012 too.

2011 also saw us shed a bit of domestic help. We let go of both our driver and cook, and despite some trepidation, we’re managing quite well on both fronts. I walk a lot more, take the bus sometimes, and resort to autos and taxis when required. I manage my errands more efficiently, and of course, there’s the added virtuous brownie point of being green. Cooking is now not such a big deal for me. I’ve managed to reduce it to just another task on the list, so it gets done like any other chore. I’ve even managed to get a certificate of appreciation from my visiting sister, so I guess my goal has been accomplished quite satisfactorily!

But I guess, the biggest surprise was my writing successes. Last year was so horrible that I had vowed to give up writing, and I did. I completely stopped and put it away in my mind. Then early this year, in January in fact, a friend gave me a writing assignment. And that’s it — I just kept writing after that. It was like a brand new beginning. I was finding my feet again, trying to put word after word, trying to come out with something that was readable. I decided to give myself a target, so I entered competitions. I didn’t really think I’d win anything; it was more to see if I could make it at least to the shortlist stage in some cases. I was completely taken aback when I began winning, and the winning streak kept going on! It did give me confidence that my writing didn’t completely suck, though I wasn’t really happy with what I was putting up. I know I have so far to go with my writing, and there are so many fantastically good writers out there, whom I would love to emulate. But I guess the biggest lesson I learnt this year was to just keep writing because it made me happy. The wins, the publications — all are icing on the cake, they are the appreciation on the feedback loop that keeps me going. I know I’m not ever going to write deep stuff, the kind that makes you sit back and ruminate. I see myself more as a simple storyteller, trying to make a story that just is to come alive, nothing else.

So 2011, you’ve been good to me, and I thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart.

(Another success story: The orchids that bloomed after two years of DH’s TLC!)

Season’s Greetings, Happy Holidays, and Wish You All A Very Happy New Year!

See ya in 2012!

The problem with this problem is that going by appearances is something that is practically ingrained in each one of us. Whether we like it or not, we judge at a glance, and the judgement is based on the lens through which we see our world.

I had an interesting discussion sometime back with my niece. She was really upset about the fact that people are so quick to judge by appearance. Though I completely agree that appearance should not the sole factor in judging or interacting with a person (I know through personal experience ), I had to question placing the entire onus on the person who begins the interaction. For example, if I was with a person who didn’t make eye contact, didn’t offer any interaction, and mumbled when it came to answering questions, what would I conclude? Would it not be fair to conclude that this person was not interested, for some reason, in furthering the interaction? After all, interaction is a reinforcing feedback loop. What incentive would I have to continue the interaction? Should I still pursue it in the hope of “discovering” what a brilliant, amiable person lies behind the indifferent facade? Would it not be doing an injustice to me to declare that I judge on appearance?

True, the above example is not strictly based on appearance, as in clothing. But the analogy can be extended to appearance in several aspects. Appearance is, after all, the first step towards interactions.

So, nowadays I do not get upset when I am ignored or overlooked. I understand that part of the problem is the way I project myself, the way I try to make myself invisible. So when I do that, I can hardly blame the other parties for looking through me, and not making the effort to find out what a fantastic person I am!

The only way I can think of to circumvent this is to actually be conscious all the time, which is kind of tough, I guess. To be aware of the kind of decisions we take requires a stepping back, an objective disassociation, which we are not all capable of. To discuss about it, to strive towards it is indeed a worthy objective.

The other way is to educate our kids also. Sometimes, Lil D comes back with certain remarks that people make, such as All boys are naughty, or All girls are very good. I always make it a point to discuss with her that these are generalizations, that the statements are not always true (I give her examples where she can see for herself that it is not true), and she should always take such statements with a pinch of salt.

All in all, judging by appearances is so wrong, yet it takes tremendous effort to break that habit. But unless we make that effort consciously, I guess we will continue to have such endless discussions, going back and forth. That too has its place in the overall scheme of things.

Yesterday, a pleasant surprise awaited me in my inbox. Apparently, I had won (Joint) Second Prize in the Poetry with Prakriti contest. They were going to announce the winners at Kalakshetra in Chennai, which of course, I couldn’t attend. They haven’t updated the website as yet, but going by the previous years, I guess my poem will be up when they update it.

It had been such a long time since I tried my hand at poetry, and when I saw this contest announcement, I thought I’d give it a shot. The poetry muscle was more than a little stiff, but not completely dead. I hardly expected to get a prize, so this is real yummy icing on the cake!

Honestly, what an unbelievable year this has been!

I remember the days of elocution contests when we feverishly hunted for great speeches of all times and tried to bring as much fervour and expression as we could into them. Later, when we heard the actual speeches, they sounded rather flat. But they were still great speeches, whether it was Nehru’s tryst with destiny, or Mark Antony’s exhortation to friends, Romans, and countrymen, or Winston Churchill’s blood, toil, tears and sweat.

After a really long time, reading this speech by Rahul Dravid gave me the same feeling. I was moved alternately to laughter and tears, nodding my head in agreement at various points, and feeling Wow! at the end.

Now, I’m not an avid cricket fan. I don’t have stats at the tips of my fingers or remember ball-by-ball accounts of every wicket taken in XYZ match at ABC venue in the year NNNN. I enjoy Harsha Bogle’s commentary, but go for the mute button when Gavaskar comes on. I rejoiced when we won the 1983 Prudential World Cup, and danced with fellow residents when we won the World cup this year (this year? it feels like so long ago!).

But I’ve been a fan of Rahul Dravid as far as I can remember, the simple reason being that I have a real weakness for gentlemen. Rahul Dravid comes across as genuine, with almost a single-mided focus on his cricket. Of course, I am commenting on his public persona with little knowledge of how he really is, but this speech seemed to reinforce every opinion I had about him. The gentle humour, the eye for detail and context, the self-awareness, the straightforward way of putting his point across, and the utmost dignity that is maintained throughout. I’d have liked to see the video of this speech, but that didn’t detract anything from the substance of the speech.

I’ve seen Dravid a few times at the school gates, waiting to pick up his little son. He was, to my surprise, quite tall. He always maintained a low profile, picked up his son and was away in the blink of an eye, without any fuss at all. It was exactly what I admired him for.

The speech itself is delightful in the way it brings together such diverse thoughts so appropriately. He represented India in a way that felt so true to me, and made me feel proud.

I’m definitely not a person who goes gaga over any celebrity, but I’ll be happy to make an exception. The Wall has earned my complete, undying admiration!